It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
we're making bets on your personal life
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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