As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
The power of my boobs compel you
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
