How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
