just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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