Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
