You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
