I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Randomize
