OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
