Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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