Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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