So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
