I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
