idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize