Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I have feelings that need drinking.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
