I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
