Buhtt sex?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
