you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
