dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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