i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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