i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
