brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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