The best revenge is premature balding
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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