at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
