Kiss
Puke
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
