Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
