I must be too annoying 4 u.
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
