Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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