I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
