Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Terrible idea I love it
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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