My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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