Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
