bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
