Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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