That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
