Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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