finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
my liver is dry heaving
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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