Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
