if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Ketchup is God's man juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize