Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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