I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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