After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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