I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
