Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
