Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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