everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
