my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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