I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Randomize
