We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
