yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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