You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
