Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
