look no pants
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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