I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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