NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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