Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
