yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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