There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize