i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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