Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
