Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize