he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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