dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
