I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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