you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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