Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
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