We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
