Well apparently he's into motor boating.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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